Author: Michael Gomez is a personal coach and educator with a focus on self-transformation through the mind and the brain. He works with adults through workshops and personal consultations and with children through nature and science camps. Michael loves the outdoors, calligraphy, the brain, dancing, and animals. He has a dog companion named Sagan and a motorcycle named… well it’s not named but he loves it! Michael was raised in Guatemala and moved to the states later in life, where he received a B.S. in Neurobiology and Natural Sciences. He owns a lot of books and ripped jeans.

Read this not as a motivational article, nor as a piece of advice that you should follow. Read this as an exploration, as a connection and as a possibility.

There are innumerable characteristics about the sense of self, consciousness and brain mechanics that are still not understood. The individuals working-out these unknown variables are designing and carrying out experiments, year by year, aiming to connect the dots and understand the processes that give us the ‘ego trick’, as Julian Baggini would say.‘The trick is… [to experience a sense of self] which has a strong sense of unity and singleness from what is actually a messy, fragmented sequence of experiences and memories, in a brain that has no control centre’.

Yet, amidst this pixelated view of ourselves, it’s of utmost impact to understand—to whatever capacity we individually can—some of the brain’s features that affect our moods, thoughts, intelligence, and experience. We are all connected through the only model of this organ available today (though it seems the future holds wider horizons for the structure and functioning of the brain. It works very similarly for most of us, and it gives us a shared range of experience of what it is like to be human: your experience of concern is very similar to mine.

—

I will discuss some aspects of the brain, self-knowledge, factors that promote success, and other mediums that can help us figure out ourselves and the life we want to live.

Your brain is filled with tiny little cute and powerful cells that keep you going, that keep you thinking, that keep you craving— centers of command with more work to do than we could ever imagine. They’re connected to each other, forming networks for specific functions such as breathing, heartbeat, hunger, thirst, sex, sleep, memories, thoughts, mental images, planning, reading this article, and pretty much everything else you do, feel, think, or imagine. Though small and cute, and consuming about 20% of your daily energy, these cells are the prime facilitators of every single moment of your reality.

To an extent, that’s what you are: the derived functions that result from the interconnected neurons that have been shaped by your genome—and your experiences, resulting in a unique connectome that belongs exclusively to you (or to which you belong).

Knowing this might not inspire you to live life to the fullest ‘right away’. It might not change your life, and it might not seem relatable or useful at all. There are concepts that might seem impractical, and habits that might not stimulate us very much. Self-improvement, just like appreciating the information above, demands some work—attention, interest (leaning-towards), acceptance, openness, time, research, education, clarification, questions, and exploration. Becoming interested and invested in learning about the functions of the brain might feel steep, difficult or simply dull. But, if you give it some time and care, just like with yourself, you will learn that awe lies in every pixel of information and in every atom of you.

At some point in our lives, all of us begin the process (or struggle) of figuring out our identity, our self-definition, our place, or our sense of self. The knowledge of how our brains orchestrate our behaviors is essential—a must for anyone interested in self-actualization. Remembering that my momentary low self-perception might be due to lack of proper sleep, poor hydration or delayed exercise alleviates the burden (and the illusion) of feeling low-value, incapable or unworthy. Mind/brain/body are all interconnected (they’re, in fact, just one) even when we don’t see the links, and understanding our ‘operating system’ can give us an edge when working on our goals and dreams. For the most part, the sense of self and the identity we ‘accept’—the ‘who’ that we think we are—comes to us by association and familiarity. Some family members, some specific friends, and even some specific strangers, lend us the terms we use and the tags we place on ourselves to give rise to our self-definition. We also play that role for others—we lend them titles, tags, roles, and adjectives that they’ll use to create their own sense of self.

—

We are co-creators of each other

—

Little by little, the memories, the habits, the emotions, and the relationships, mingle to give us that experience we end up calling ‘me’... or ‘I’. We learn to use phrases such as ‘I’m such a procrastinator’, ‘my mind is a mess’, ‘I’m not like that’, ‘I’m such an introvert/extrovert’, ‘I’m not a math person’, ‘I’m a free-spirit’, or even ‘I don’t belong’. Though emotionally charged, these expressions belong mainly to the dimension of language, which plays a resounding role in the process of defining ourselves. The quality and capacity of the language we acquire becomes incorporated into us through repeated exposure—from ourselves or others—formal education and even temperamental dispositions (higher extraversion is connected to higher language score in children). As children, most of the learning we undergo happens with little choice on our part. We learn what’s available to us, what we’re exposed to, and what, for many reasons, is picked up by our brains. This is mainly because the mental processes or executive functions that permit us greater freedom of choice, don’t develop until early adulthood or late adolescence.

—

Take a moment to examine some of the things you learned as a child that might still be with you. Think of the behaviors that were taught to you, the games at school, the prayers, the jokes. Identify at least one thing and ask yourself if it still serves your life.

—

Today, you have the permission, the responsibility and the power to choose your areas of interest, your activities, your illusions, your demons, and your bliss. Today, we can walk beyond the ‘exposure-dependent’ way of living and cross to a conscious design of the moments that make up our lives. Today we can engage with the inner wonders and live an inspired life.

You can set any goals you want and aim for any dreams you wish. You can set your routines, your disciplines, you can choose your friends, your romantic encounters, you can read any articles, you can choose your leisure, your sights, and your self-connection. Today, you can create the meaning of your life, determine the purpose of your days and live an original life. You have freedom to roam, to soar, to manifest, to explore, to say, to state, to ask, to answer. You have freedom to invent, to imagine, to create, to learn and to unlearn.

—

You have freedom
You have freedom
You are freedom

—

It’s all a process, however. These kinds of freedoms don’t come automatically—they're not fully intuitive or instinctual, and they require engagement. Engagement makes the brain happy with dopamine, acetylcholine and serotonin. It activates the reward systems and other areas of higher cognition. Engagement can mitigate the fears of survival, the anxieties of uncertainty and the pains of attachments. It can increase productivity, insight and learning. An engaged life leads an inspired life.

Engagement can mitigate the fears of survival, the anxieties of uncertainty and the pains of attachments. It can increase productivity, insight and learning. An engaged life leads an inspired life.

—Michael Gomez

As an adult, it’s important that you know what works for you, what you are working for, how it works and how you are making it all work. It’s important that you dedicate time and effort into the cultivation of understanding your inner life and the life around you—the mechanics, the logistics, the dynamics, the consequences, the opportunities, and the resources. Research has identified four areas that can help you cultivate well-being, bliss and support you in the process of achieving your goals:

Awareness: two of the main activities (jobs) of your brain is to sense information and to perceive that information (integrate it). The perception of information implies attention and—to an extent—a level of engagement. To be aware is to see and to be attentive—Krishnamurti put it this way: “‘Aware’ means to be sensitive, to be alive to the things about one, to nature, to people, to color, to the trees, to the environment, to the social structure...to be aware of everything that is happening outwardly and to be aware of what is happening inside [psychologically]’. Awareness can facilitate the process of self-regulation, concentration and gratefulness. It can grant you clarity and grounding. It can make you happier and focused. Awareness is empowering, pleasurable, enlightening, and fulfilling. Awareness is a super-power!

Insight: some of the wonders of the mind/brain lie in completing constellations, fabricating answers, and seeing the big picture. Insight, in this context, refers to the ‘self-knowledge concerning the manner in which our emotions, thoughts, beliefs and other factors are shaping our subjective experience, especially our sense of self’. Knowledge, practices, questions, feedback-loops and social interactions can sharpen our skills for insight, and transform our capacities for creating original works. A sharp level of insight can promote brain-plasticity, mind reframing, and overall well-being.

Purpose: developing purpose comes through describing specifically our aims, wants and our reasons for showing up. Purpose unfolds as we specifically define our course of actions and our motives behind pursuing what we want. Even though we all have different thresholds, our brains freak-out at the sight of uncertainty, which may result in upsetting mental paralysis or unwanted anxiety. Purpose mitigates the levels of ‘useless’ uncertainty and clarifies/defines the values in which we’ve decided to live. Purpose will grant you power, direction, and a great sense of grounding.

Purpose unfolds as we specifically define our course of actions and our motives behind pursuing what we want…purpose will grant you power, direction, and a great sense of grounding.

—Michael Gomez

Connection: you can think about it two ways—one which traces the interrelatedness of all the words you know, the experiences you’ve had and the people you’re acquainted with. Another way to think about it lies within the context of the subjective experience of care and kinship for other people. A sense of interconnectedness can be a magical dimension, potentially liberating us from conditionings that create the sense of loneliness, abandonment and tribal thinking. This broadens our experience of compassion, empathy and openness to experience. Connection can bring to one’s reality something much bigger than oneself.

—

These four: awareness, insight, purpose, and connection, can be increased through training that facilitates experience and practice, mediated by a multidisciplinary approach. One that uses language, critical thinking, planning, goal-setting, awareness, self-narrative, dialogue and meditation to address the mind directly (where the effects of such activities are understood or expected). But also one that uses somatic work, imaginative practices, movement, habitual learning, creative works, knowledge acquisition, divergent thinking and sensorial exposure, to indirectly (not fully aware of the effects) address the brain. Addressing the mind and the brain together and separately, increases the opportunities of truly enhancing one’s human experience. There’s a wonderful characteristic that your brain comes with: plasticity! Your brain’s capacity to adapt, to form new networks, to perform faster, and to prevent decline, can serve you well. Brain health leads to mental health if it’s consciously (purposefully) harnessed. Your brain will continue to change whether you want it or not. Its performance might decline, its health might become compromised and its capacity to keep you fulfilled might slow down. But it can also be directed upwards. A multi-disciplinary method of embracing and improving your brain can result in holistic outcomes. You are multidimensional and to ‘grasp’ the whole of you, a multidimensional approach is required. The time comes when we start to figure ourselves out. When we start deciding more freely. When we start adjusting to new people, new jobs, new frontiers, new sensations, new knowledge and unprecedented changes. The time comes when we have to figure out what we want and why we want it. So it’s quite important that we embrace and face all of this with a good arsenal of tools and approaches.

—

Doing all of this alone is okay. In fact, there are levels to self-discovery and self-creation that can only be accessed alone. Yet, to advance even further and attain deeper and broader levels, outside support is required. The power of an outsider's view and systematized contexts (ideation, guided experiences, planning, dialogue) can make the difference between ordinary and extraordinary. We have access to people who can support our journey, our explorations, and our ways of doing things. There are professionals (coaches, consultants, practitioners, teachers) who specialize in facilitating lessons, exercises and systems—and who have devised ways to catalyze one’s advancement.

—

Let’s say we want to become better photographers, or better scientists, or better singers, or better basketball players, or better writers. Let’s say we want to learn how to appreciate life better, how to see more beauty, how to manage anxieties, how to understand our values or how to set boundaries. Let’s say we’re curious about deeper levels of living, or broader states of being. Let us say that it is our wish to reach a sharper level of performance, to outline a plan of action, or to overcome persistent obstacles that have kept us stagnant. A setting for feedback, for structure, for accountability, for connection, for insight, for purpose and for exploration, will bring us beyond what we can do on our own. Working with these types of professionals is not receiving advice or talking about your problems or simply receiving motivational talks. Working with these professionals can result in upgrades, new horizons, improved functionality and more of the specific things you want.

—

Identify an area or a set of areas that you would like to increase performance on.
Search for a few professionals in that specific area of work.
Set up a free call with them (most will have a 15 minute call to assess if you are a good fit for each other).
Freely and openly discuss your grounds, your position, your desires, and ask them about their methods, systems, and anything else.
Don’t be reluctant to invest in yourself! Hire one and work with them.

—

As you continue to develop, you become equipped and able to make better use of the executive functions of your brain: you are more capable of imagining, planning, and freely choosing the type of life you want. You get to pick your goals, your pleasures, your structures, and your fulfillment.

—

You get to make decisions

—

Little by little, you get to discover that there are different dimensions that make up the whole of you: your memories, your conditionings, your knowledge, your peers, the contents of your mind and the surroundings that you get exposed to—As you continue your journey of self-creation, self-discovery and self-transcendence, you might want more out of yourself and out of life. Working with a professional could be the catalyzed route for faster results. Understanding your own brain, the things that come easy to it, the things it struggles with, and the ways in which it gives you your individual experience, can make a tremendous difference in how well you perform and how deeply you get to live.

—

Self knowledge is everything

—

I need you to remember that this whole thing is not so personal. That the forces that seem against you, are not so personal. That the conditions of your current living are not so personal. And that the doings of others ‘unto’ you, are not so personal. I need you to self-create and advance yourself in the direction of a more conscious living. I need you to remember that it’s a process, one that does demand time, resources, and engagement, but one that is very worth the journey and the pains of unlearning attachments. I need you to remember that you can… today—you can. We all need you to live in ways that only you can. Roam, soar, create, explain, connect, design, and understand yourself and the cosmos in the ways that only you can.

We all need you to live in ways that *only you* can. Roam, soar, create, explain, connect, design, and understand yourself and the cosmos in the ways that *only* ***you can***.

—Michael Gomez

Credits

Image #1 “In the Fog” / Javaris Johnson / SnipezLife

Images #2, #3, and #4 / Michael Gomez

Cited Work

The plasticity of well-being: A training-based framework for the cultivation of human flourishing

Cortland J. Dahla,1, Christine D. Wilson-Mendenhalla, and Richard J. Davidsona,b,c,d,1

Edited by Michael I. Posner, University of Oregon, Eugene, OR, and approved October 29, 2020 (received for review August 19, 2020)

Using Neuroscience to Achieve the Life You Want—Michael Gomez